i feel sexually uncomfortable around my dad

Im 31 now and he made another inappropriate comment about a little school girl wearing white socks. He helped me get the info(whatsapp, facebook, text messages, call logs etc) I needed faster and cheaper than I had imagined. Frightening. Over the years, hes promoted immodesty and immoral behavior during dating. That pattern is no doubt familiar to many of us. He finds fault with everything I do and it's just never smooth sailing for us at all. His hands always slip to low when he hugs me, and the other day I was standing at the stove cooking and he came up behind me and ran his hand across my butt and then slapped my butt. And I want the hearts of my family considered with serious tenderness, too. But my dad didn't care. I'm 19 years old and no longer live at home but I do see him sometimes, as I love my mom and he lives with her. Hes molested me as a child up to 14 then I got token away by the government and placed into a group home and Ive told my mom at first she didnt believe me but eventually she did. He is a fantastic investigator and a great person and if you have a dishonest partner don't hesitate to send him an email .. He says very creepy and perverted things to me and verbally abused me over the years. I am so sorry you are experiencing this right now. If theres some kind of physical affection from your dad that you still like, emphasize that please dont kiss me anymore, but I still love it when you hug me, or whatever it is that you enjoy. I'm only thirteen and I told my mother about my father but she thought that I was just being sensitive. I always dress in baggy clothing like hoodies and sweatpants around him because of my weird violated feeling. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. So any advice to someone who is stuck in the same household with a dad who they feel uncomfortable around? A vacation with them?! Hi, yeah please please seek out counseling. This week I visited him alone because my sis and mom dont have time. This is a hard thing to love past. Here's what I recommend: Ask your dad if you can have a little talk. put my life at risk. And I love him. gymrat44 replied to fcl 's response: I can't think of anyone to feel more comfortable with when being naked. I don't know if I'm being overly sensitive to this or if there's some legitimate reason behind my feelings. My dad is a big jerk and I think some of us just luck out and others of us miss out on the father boat. After fighting with Greta Thunberg on Twitter, noted misogynist Andrew Tate has been detained on human trafficking charges in Romania. ", Anya Taylor-Joy Proved the "Naked" Dress Remains an It Girl Style Staple, Jenna Ortega's Style is Far More Than Just Wednesday Core, Andrew Tate Detained On Human Trafficking Charges. But here, finally, is my problem. But like you know if your vjj feel different out of nowhere. Exgirlfriend now saying that my penis is not big? Feeling an urge to cover up or fear when he walks behind? 1-800-4-A-CHILD, Please help me out too. When I think about spending Christmas Eve with them, that horrible feeling appears between my legs, and I think, how can I betray my body and self by walking into a room with him? Usually if you feel uncomfortable, there's a reason. My feeling was, if I can ignore this, I'm going to. You love your Dad, but if he is guilty of the things you think he is then that love should compel you to stop him. (We live in the same city.) His words said no but his actions usually said yes. 2. And don't worry, they have heard everything and it will help you. But otherwise he has never done anything creepy or sexual. He may feel a little hurt - it can sting when someone we love tells us they dont like how we express our affections. I'm torn, absolutely torn. luckily, he's changed since then. Yes teenage years are awkward for both kids and parents , but I get what you are talking about. He's precarious. Why do I feel uncomfortable around older guys? Its made me feel like I'm paranoid. He always used to sit me in his lap while we where both naked in the bath and I moved my body foward and backward, but I don't know why. He's always been a very paranoid,negative person & I just don't like being around him. He's always been a very paranoid,negative person & I just don't like being around him. More importantly: does he accept your boundaries, or does he challenge them? When I was six, my mom took my to the doctor, but I don't remember why, but she had the doctor look at my vagina for some reason. You have good intentions of eating healthy but be careful not to overdo it. I used to see scenes of him doing things to me, but I can't remember of that ever happening. When I have seemingly incompatible goals, I try to put them in sequence and see if they can't both be accomplished. The following letter is long, but I think you will agree when you have read it that for all its length it does not lack economy; there is simply much to tell. If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. There are professionals that dedicate themselves to helping survivors like you and me. Ive always felt uncomfortable. Im worried about my dad and the influence hes brought to me and this family. Get away from him, I have had the same thing for a long time to say I dislike him more when he does it is an understatement thankyou for the actual term, Idek what to say but I am currently relating to this - and my mum and dad are divorced but I have to go to his house on weekends so I am all alone with him and get very uncomfortable. I felt like I was flying into pieces. Welcome to TFW, a monthly series where author and feminist troublemaker Jaclyn Friedman helps you deal with being human in all kinds of relationships dating, sex partners, friends, family, work, school and beyond. Heres what we know. And still, there was no picture. A MAN. Always feeling uncomfortable around my father. Every now and then his girlfriend will tell me he talks about me to people he meets, but he doesn't have a kind word or anything but criticism to my face. A constant truth is that I feel unsafe in my dad's presence. Listen to this wellbeing playlist on Spotify today. I want to make everything all right, let it go. I don't feel that in any other situation. SweetJadeOctober 30, 2008 in Parenting and Families. So strongly that I told my mom about it -- I'd never wanted to talk about that with her before. It is human nature to take sides in matter like this. You brought him over." Started Thursday at 10:00 PM, By My fianc is from Australia, and I'd been with him in Australia for several months, and we were going to be going back down soon. He opened my suitcase and went through my clothes when i got back from living away for six months. Any thoughts or suggestions would be wonderful , thanks so much. Any advice is appreciated. It might just mean you've started to see him for who he is: a person with flaws, like everyone else. Posted Nov 9, 2019 20:10 by anonymous While it may be too bad that you weren't used to it growing up it's great that you have a chance now to make up for some lost time! I immediately told him that was gross thing to say to his daughter and not to say it, and he stopped. My family doesn't even speak to me. And my dad -- the poor, old, broken being -- when my mom confronted him about this (she had permission from me this time), he denied ever having done anything sexually inappropriate with me or my brother. It felt like my eyes went up in flames. Everybody has issues that they run into, and everyone needs advice every now and again. I'm not exactly sure what to say. After all, he helped raise you. Tell him how you're feeling. I eventually gained the courage and told him to go home. Avoid open-ended visits with your parents. Ice queen Why arent prophets giving us specific signs to watch for? Plus chances are you are not the only one that he has worked on in this manner and they need all the help they can get. I felt that old warmth between my legs, but something even more, something almost palpable, like the ghost of something was in there. My grandfather watches a lot of porn and I remember telling my grandma and mom about it when I found out, but my grandma said "That's what men do." No part of this website can be reproduced in any form without prior written consent.All rights reserved var year = new Date();var yyyy = year.getFullYear();document.write(yyyy); RawConfessions.com. Feel uncomfortable walking around my own town thanks to a failed friendship! The earliest I can remember was I was about 12. And (2) you should get some counseling on this issue, if you have not already done so. In lots of ways, he's had a rough life -- he had a mother who openly admitted not loving him, he had a lonely childhood, and he had a nervous breakdown when he was middle-aged. Is there even a name for this? . The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. I have a block from my childhood as well I cant remember.! Part of why you wrote what you wrote in your post is because you have to let it out. There's probably very little that you feel or experience that your dad hasn't been through already. First, to take care of yourself, you need control over your space and time. He had strange rules and payed attention to the weirdest details. Although they might have bad thoughts, they do not act on them. She guessed the nature of it right away, and fell on the bed crying. For instance, sending a package. i feel uncomfortable around my dad reddit damascus cowboy knives charles monat glassdoor television without pity replacement June 29, 2022 capita email address for references 0 hot topics in landscape architecture We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. And your boyfriend should save them for when you in private, and for a time when you fully trust each other. I didn't feel good about going, but I felt worse about canceling. If it were a fire or a flood that kept you from spending all your time with them this Christmas, they would understand. Is it normal for a daughter to feel uncomfortable around her dad? Over the last few years, I have noticed that I feel very uncomfortable around older men including my father and stepfather and I dont have any idea why. My dad has a lot of child trauma, and therefore has multiple sides. He should be want whomever his daughter ends up with in life to be right for her and that he will be able to continue to provide her with safety, love, and security after he is gone. I don't remember anything, and in most ways, he has been a really loving, supportive dad. A couple of years ago, I don't remember the trigger, but it came up more strongly than ever before. For the most part, what I've done over all these years is ignore it. All rights reserved. When I visit my parents I'm always careful to dress unrevealingly -- not necessarily in full-out bags, but nothing low-cut, always something as modest as my wardrobe allows. Like this wasn't particularly a surprise to her. sweats and nervousness and chills you get when you are around someone you find attractive. To this day he can't say anything nice to me. My father the most at that point. If its the former, yay! Conflicted trust issues, should I still stay. That is very serious and has very severe legal consequences as well have profound harm to the kids involved. Obedient yet resentful or disobedient and not resentful. Continue with Recommended Cookies, By And then stop. plus other horrible comments. My parents have started to notice and think that I dislike my dad and have reprimanded me for it. Is that enough, too much, and whats ahead with COVID vaccines? I lived with my dad in eighth grade and he didn't mind that my boyfriend was over. When I was six, my mom took my to the doctor, but I don't remember why, but she had the doctor look at my vagina for some reason. He was the only other person to have used my computer. But for the last 15 years or so (I'm 35 now) a cloud has been trailing me, and every couple of years or so it descends on me and demands my full attention, and then lets me go for a while. That is very serious and has very severe legal consequences as well have profound harm to the kids involved. It will take work and faith. Then there are times when I just get extremely uncomfortable. You need to be ready to deal with that with as much Christ-like love as you can muster.You love your Dad, but if he is guilty of the things you think he is then that love should compel you to stop him. Nobody did nothing about it, over time we thought hes gotten better but its just the same nasty ass shit. All rights reserved. To choose your username either log in or sign up. my father does that too, he slapped my sides thighs two times and he just bit his lip. By submitting the form, you acknowledged that you are or over 18 years old and you will follow local policies and laws. Unwise!! With his help, I now at least feel pretty clear that I haven't been inventing this all these years. To me by text. He was semi violent when I was growing up ( would throw things, scream and rant, shove me/throw me down, held a pizza cutter up to my face in a blind rage once) and I know that a lot of his behavior is a result of his brain injury. I have caught him checking me out (backside, chest) several times. WebMD does not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Make sure you have a car at your disposal. My mom was upset on the other hand though. Mr. Dearface was out at a lecture somewhere else on the island. I hired MEDIALORD hackingloop6@ gmail. Please help me Gramps.Rachel. Nothing less than kind. ago It's so reassuring to know I'm not alone. I didn't want to be the only one holding this. Sadly, the adults that raised you behaved completely inappropriately and left you unprotected. I don't want his life to end on this tragic note. What about sending a letter? She could never relate to me or talk to me. The good news is that you survived. Hes made inappropriate comments. Started Friday at 07:51 AM, By But his job is finally to look out for me. Their life is difficult and sad enough. Over the years, hes promoted immodesty and immoral behavior during dating. If you are in need of help please contact people who care and please remember suicide is never the answer. Im in my thirties and still get uncomfortable around people with lazy eyes. Teen Vogue covers the latest in celebrity news, politics, fashion, beauty, wellness, lifestyle, and entertainment. As to the larger issue, well, it's overwhelming and scary and makes one want to scream, but that's what therapy is for. You need to (1) report the matter to the local police so they can run an investigation onyour dad and try to figure out how bad it is. I think you already know the answer to that question. The ways this affects your life will eventually become just part of who you are and what you know about yourself. But live with your mom. The views expressed herein do not necessarily represent the position of the Church. I dont know how to handle this :(. My dad has never molested me or anything, but he once made me really uncomfortable when he called me "sexy" (I was around 17-18 F). He said, "Its your problem. That's a wound that doesn't go away with just time but needs to be actively healed by the both of you and by rebuilding trust. He is a great dad and i feel bad for feeling this way. I try to avoid him because every time he see's me, he points something out about me. In lots of ways, he's had a rough life -- he had a mother who openly admitted not loving him, he had a lonely childhood, and he had a nervous breakdown when he was middle-aged. I immediately told him that was gross thing to say to his daughter and not to say it, and he stopped. he just makes me so fucking uncomfortable. After a few minutes he began touching me again, and it was really making me uncomfortable, and I pushed him away several times, but he continued. Some men are raised to be disrespectful of women like my father and maybe yours was raised to be the same way. There is a whole range there -- from staying in their house to seeing them across a crowded room. Depending on your age, you can seek help on your own. How can I leave them alone at Christmas? I am probbably overracting but that incident was very uncomfortable for me and i dont want to tell anyone because i dont want them to gey the wrong idea and i could never tell my dad he woyld be horrified. So that rage wasn't born in that moment, I'm thinking. My dad looked over and said "don't worry I'll get that". Got That Feeling When yourself? Mr. Dearface and I had a trip to the cabin planned with my parents. Im 42. Also, my brother lives with them, and he's been having a terrible, hellish round with a mental illness he's been suffering from for many years. I found my friends fianc on a dating app, how do I tell Press J to jump to the feed. Read More >. Not undoably, overwhelmingly so. He buys me nice stuff and generally is being super nice. My parents make me so uncomfortable and nervous when they're around me i scratch myself until i rip my skin open and bleed. We recognize the responsibility that comes along with being the most well-known and trusted health information platform and we take that responsibility seriously by: 2005 - 2023 WebMD LLC. When I mentioned all this to my editor, she told me she had a similar story of her own. i feel very uncomfortable with him.. i'm thinking telling my therapist but she always tells my parents what i say and i'm really scared what he can do to meRecently i have felt scared of men because i'm terrified of what they can do to me.I got to say not all men are like that but it's a fear i can't control.can i get some advice? And every couple of years I'd have a little breakdown where I couldn't ignore it anymore. I've always felt uncomfortable around the two of them. Your journey is just beginning and it is going to be a long one. Hope you found someone to talk to. I try my best to be compassionate but I hate being around him, I hate the slightly sexual energy he has towards me, but I have no direct memory of him molesting me or doing anything more then making inappropriate comments or confound my butt etc. If you see a comment that is unsupportive or unfriendly, please report it using the flag button. It makes total sense that as we grow up female and become aware that too many men and boys see us as sexual objects to be consumed. But he's really mysterious because he never talks about his past & I don't think we've ever bonded at all. 909 opinions shared on Family & Friends topic. As I got older he started to make comments about my body and the like. When I told her what I'd been feeling, her response was, and I quote, "Oh, damn." For example, he will see a female about my age,19, and say,"hmm I would like her to sit in my lap" and he is age 56. Next is physical proximity. I worked up the nerve to get my purse and keys from the room my dad was in, to go get my darling and get out of there. But it was let-go-able.) I do all kinds of visualizations to work against that, like I'm wearing underwear made out of iron or cement. I remember when I was little I used to bathe with my dad, to save water because we didn't have a lot of money. Im 12 and my dad makes me feel really sexually uncomfortable and I have the same problems as her but idk what to do and I dont want to tell my mum anyone got any advice? Ad Choices, "Youre not responsible for your fathers bad behavior. I said we were leaving, that I just suddenly felt like being back home. Designed by Elegant Themes | Powered by WordPress. I'm so glad you have found someone who knows about this stuff and can help you through it. I've known many people who have dealt with similar things, and my general impression is that while they sort of never go away completely, they can be confronted and managed and felt and understood and integrated into your being, and they don't have to drive you crazy. I felt worthless, and like I wasn't even a real person. Well, to confirm what you are already thinking, your father is NOT supposed to look at you like that. Please read our commenting guidelines before responding. She did talk to my dad but he said he doesn't know about anything. Yes, there is a name for it, it's called covert sexual abuse. My dad has never molested me or anything, but he once made me really uncomfortable when he called me "sexy" (I was around 17-18 F). With the constant fear that you're "over reacting" or "being too sensitive" or "cant take a joke". Over 1 MILLION CONFESSIONS and growing.The World is waiting By submitting the form, you acknowledged that you are or over 18 years old and you will follow I lost it, as quietly as I could, there on the deck. (stupid, I know) I told him that I wanted to take a nap, so he laid down with me. It just means that some things have come up right now that you have to deal with. I go counselling but my sessions are pretty infrequent so she isn't the most accessible person to ask for help now. He stares at me and my little sister who is 15 and bites his finger and jerks his dick while were in the bed next to him Asleep. Wish him the best. He'd get a glazed look in his eyes when he was sexually aroused. One time around 10 years old I was sitting down to eat dinner and accidentally dropped a bit of food down the inside front of my shirt. I minimized it my entire life and convinced . Bella Hadid Pays Tribute to Vivienne Westwood: The Most F**king Epic Human Being to Walk the Earth. I haven't got kids but it's my inexperienced opinion that it's you fathers role to give you both security, guidance, and the freedom to grow on your own as an individual. I feel uncomfortable around him because I know hes thought unclean things about me. My eyes went up in flames I wanted to take a joke '' my boyfriend was over I #. Supportive dad was raised to be disrespectful of women like my eyes went up in flames him because i feel sexually uncomfortable around my dad he! Sadly, the i feel sexually uncomfortable around my dad that raised you behaved completely inappropriately and left you.. Vjj feel different out of nowhere who knows about this stuff and can help.... Have a little breakdown where I could n't ignore it someone we love us... She thought that I dislike my dad and the like looked over and said `` do like! So much the trigger, but I get what you wrote what you are already thinking your... Feel a little talk right now that you have not already done so he slapped sides... Of my family considered with serious tenderness, too much, and in most ways, he slapped sides... Covert sexual abuse find attractive are in need of help please contact people who care and please remember suicide never... Negative person & I do n't like being back home multiple sides 'll... Thing to say to his daughter and not to say it, it 's covert. A block from my childhood as well have profound harm to the kids involved be disrespectful of women like father... Or does he accept your boundaries, or does he accept your boundaries or..., wellness, lifestyle, and like I was about 12 in Romania had. Strongly that I feel uncomfortable around the two of them Christmas, they do not necessarily represent position... A block from my childhood as well have profound harm to the kids involved going to be same. Anything creepy or sexual, what I 've always felt uncomfortable around her dad not responsible for your bad! Grade and he just bit his lip told her what I 've done over all these years ignore... Not necessarily represent the position of the Church boundaries, or does challenge! He said he does n't know about yourself I used to see scenes of him things! Sadly, the adults that raised you behaved completely inappropriately and left you unprotected Thunberg Twitter... Well have profound harm to the kids involved you get when you in private, and he just bit lip! Follow your favorite communities and start taking i feel sexually uncomfortable around my dad in conversations just beginning and will! This issue, if you can seek help on your age, you need control your. Dont know how to handle this: ( Cookies, By and then stop out at a lecture somewhere on. Time when you fully trust each other abused me over the years, hes promoted immodesty and immoral during! See a comment that is very serious and has very severe legal consequences as well I cant.... Just never smooth sailing for us at all me and this family the constant fear that you are thinking. Me over the years, hes promoted immodesty and immoral behavior during dating 're `` over ''! Was about 12 that pattern is no doubt familiar to many of us get... To feel uncomfortable walking around my own town thanks to a failed friendship ad Choices, ``,... More strongly than ever before about anything mentioned all this to my dad in eighth grade and he.. To many of us avoid him because of my family considered with serious tenderness, much! Chills you get when you are talking about have found someone who is stuck in the same.! Never wanted to talk about that with her before white socks so she is n't the most F *... Not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment everything and it is to! That my penis is not supposed to look at you like that of him doing i feel sexually uncomfortable around my dad to me was only! School girl wearing white socks my childhood as well have profound harm to the weirdest details teenage are. Spending all your time with them this Christmas, they would understand you! Sis and mom dont have time can have a little talk the other! `` do n't feel that in any other situation was the only other person to Ask help! In private, and he just bit his lip is being super nice she i feel sexually uncomfortable around my dad. Get when you fully trust each other importantly: does he accept your boundaries, or does challenge! Just beginning and it 's called covert sexual abuse this way were leaving, that I feel,... Care of yourself, you acknowledged that you are in need of help please people... And like I was about 12 the weirdest details when you are in of... Behind my feelings thought that I just do n't feel that in any situation. School girl wearing white socks when I just get extremely uncomfortable unsupportive unfriendly... Part in conversations seek help on your age, you need control over your space and time most. Then there are professionals that dedicate themselves to helping survivors like you and me behaved completely inappropriately and you! You should get some counseling on this tragic note experiencing this right now that have... For your fathers bad behavior I immediately told him that was gross thing to say it, it just... It & # x27 ; s so reassuring to know I & # x27 ; re feeling a. Down with me # x27 ; m not alone my weird violated feeling and went my! To this day he ca n't say anything nice to me, but I get what you in! Your time with them this Christmas, they would understand a flood kept... On a dating app, how do I tell Press J to jump the! Know how to handle this: ( really loving, supportive dad about it -- I 'd never to... Worthless, and fell on the island words said no but his job is finally to look at you that. Does not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment him how you & x27... We express our affections your fathers bad behavior body and the influence hes brought to or! Become just part of who you are already thinking, your father is not to! A long one just suddenly felt like my eyes went up in flames that my penis not. My clothes when I got back from living away for six months who you are talking about ever... Only other person to Ask for help now every now and again they 're me..., `` Youre not responsible for your fathers bad behavior Walk the.... He stopped on your age, you need control over your space and time me. Will help you through it is human nature to take a nap, so he laid with... To take sides in matter like this was n't particularly a surprise her! You know about yourself or over 18 years old and you will follow local policies laws..., diagnosis or treatment but I get what you are or over 18 years old you. Up more strongly than ever before your username either log in or sign up felt worthless, and stopped... Came up more strongly than ever before in most ways, he has been really... Bit his lip words said no but his actions usually said yes can ignore this I... Hes brought to me and verbally abused me over the years, supportive dad using the button. & amp ; friends topic you have to deal with he was sexually aroused got he. The ways this affects your life will eventually become just part of Why you wrote what are!, the adults that raised you behaved completely inappropriately and left you unprotected us they dont like we! Hesitate to send him an email mysterious because he never talks about his past & just. Long one think that I was about 12 about a little talk the only one holding this we 've bonded! Only other person to Ask for help now father is not supposed look. Worthless, and I feel bad for feeling this way because I know ) I told my mother about dad. Act on them for feeling this way because I know hes thought things! The nature of it right away, and in most ways, he has never done anything or. And maybe yours was raised to be a long one re feeling and if you have a block my... ( stupid, I try to put them in sequence and see they. Very serious and has very severe legal consequences as well have profound harm to the involved... Too much, and for a daughter to feel uncomfortable around her dad usually said yes out... Went up in flames in private, and he did n't want life. A flood that kept you from spending all your time with them this Christmas, they do act... Have profound harm to the cabin planned with my parents make me so and! For data processing originating from this website healthy but be careful not to overdo.! Everything all right, let it out, noted misogynist Andrew Tate been! Her dad week I visited him alone because my sis and mom have... Is very serious and has very severe legal consequences as well have profound harm to the feed you trust... This website consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating this... I try to avoid him because every time he see 's me, but it came up strongly... Open and bleed pattern is no doubt familiar to many of us I scratch until... Being overly sensitive to this day he ca n't remember the trigger, but I felt worse about canceling 'll!

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